I Think I Am

They say I’m a poet just like them

but my confidence makes me slip

to believe I’m just a regular guy!

They say I'm a poet just like them.

You all hype me up but who am I to be categorized

in the same boat as you?

Like you can turn a sentence of, "The sky is blue"

into something like this,

"The sky is as blue as your eyes where I can get lost

in a gaze dreaming about the next time I can lay

next to you so I can go into a never ending cycle of the blues".

My confidence makes me believe I can’t do that.

Which I just proved I could.

I believe I'm a fake.

I just put on my teacher’s voice to change

the tone and inflection of my words to make

a point where really I’m playing you like the girl

I hit up once a month saying I'm thinking of you

just to give them false hope that I want to see you again.

Really I'm playing myself everyday.

I am so lost in my own head.

I don’t believe that I belong with such a group

of people who can turn words into a beautiful ballet routine

with twist, turns, jumps and raw emotion

that has you on the edge of your seat to see what words

will come out next in their story.

I want to say I'm a poet with confidence and

believe my words have importance

where people can be impacted.

Deep down, I know it and feel it but my thoughts scream, “Fuck you”.

It’s a shame.

I've never felt like a poet.

Always feeling like my words don't matter

so I never release them keeping them buried

somewhere in the ocean where I cant even find them.

I wish I could stop this cycle but I just don’t know how.

One day, hopefully,

I can scream at the top of my lungs, “I AM A POET” and actually believe it.