I’m Gay Losers
I’m gay losers!
Which means
I like dicks.
Boys who use me
but never understand me.
I’m the friend
they’ll never be comfortable loving
but always call to clean up their messes.
To tame the waves of their pride.
All the emotional support with
none of the obligation.
I think before I live
so I can keep on living.
My identity has military training.
Knows how to tip toe into a room
and check that it’s safe.
I’ve kissed the forehead of a grenade to sleep.
Can survive in harsh conditions.
Like
the crossfire of classrooms.
Like church pew ambushes.
I’ve been sniped from my bedroom window.
I’m gay losers.
Which means
I create homes but do not have one.
Sometimes
my mouth waters at privilege
I’ll never know.
Catch myself envying what is easy.
Understand this poem will be shrugged off by people who
just can’t relate.
Too scared to support our movement
but want us to support theirs.
Means I’m always aware of my different.
Often,
I fist fight society.
to be understood.
Shouting at the earth
to spin the opposite direction.
Feel too small for pain so large.
I’m gay losers.
Which means
God made me a square planet.
Means
He still made me.
With iced coffee oceans, ROYGBIV skies
and a whole lot of flowers.
Means you not breathing my air
doesn’t stop me from sustaining life.
I know myself
so I won’t
lose myself.
I got Pluto’s resilience.
Kept orbiting even when they said I was too small.
Too not like them.
Stripped me of my identity and remained strong.
After being broken so many times
I know exactly how to heal.
Know how to rebuild bridges with my broken bones.
Know how to wrap my fists around hurricanes
and walk out dry.
Can weld lightning from my fingertips and
Find my way home
Loneliness don’t scare me.
Means your privilege makes you weak
but they ain’t ready for that conversation.
I’m gay losers!
Which means
I floss my teeth with haters.
Shine my shoes with simpletons.
I’ll meet you in the ally if you talking shit
and even when I’m hit,
I still dressed better than you.
Means
the only thing I know is survival.
The only love give is unconditional.
Means true love is hard to find
but always worth the search.