Just Like You

Written By Cadin Small

I dream about you

I wonder if you dream about me too,

An aching sensation in my chest

Reminding me that I love and hate you at the same time

At war with what is good for me and detrimental

To my unaffordable, apartment rental

Because you spare me no expense to my wellbeing or wallet

You have all the wrong traits

You are a coward

A pathological liar.

A racist.

Terrorist.

The list goes on and on

See, you read me white lies and blew smoke in my face to distract me from the truth

You always expect the most and want to give nothing in tax return

You give such a false sense of social security

How did I end up in this toxic relationship?

Yet you creep back into my thoughts and reverberate through chest

Starting as a mure thought and vibrating through my being

A feeling of what could be

what we could be,

What you told me I could be,

You cycle across my psyche taking laps striking when you hit my emotional pinnacles

You just love to get hopes up, don't you?

Stop it.

I want you to be the person I want

I want you to not be who you have shown me to be

I don't want to believe the person you have shown me you are

I want the loving kind dream I thought you were

I want to pretend what happened didn't and be with the one I thought I knew

I want to pretend you never lied,

Alas,

You are who you are and earned the right to have no access to me, 

But have all the access to my Latin(x) cultural Identity and exploit it whenever you want

You are who you are and have no respect for me

Yet, demand I respect your authority and fall in line because my Latin(X) opinion doesn't matter

You are who you are and don't deserve me

Yet make claims to me and my land and give me no representation

You are who you are and require the truth 100% of the time from me

Yet,100% of the time refuse to give it, ie every politician that exist

What the hell?

Do you truly value me in such low regard?

Maybe in another life we will start again and yield me a different result

Maybe I will finally be free like you claim to be and let this coqui in my chest go

Maybe,

One day, 

I won't think like Puerto Rico

Maybe,

One day, 

I will not care at all, just like you America

Just like you.


Cadin Small

Cadin Small is an African American, Puerto Rican writer who has a passion for cultivating diversity and inclusion in various social spaces. He challenges many with his work to think deep and ask the big questions that don't get asked often. He is also a graduate of the University of South Florida and an advocate for traditionally, marginalized communities in the United States and world-wide. He hopes to eventually open a non-profit that is dedicated to helping college students from diverse backgrounds graduate from college by providing financial resources. 

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